Good Story!

Lily-Grace has been very interested in Jesus lately and asking me lots of questions, and today she asked me to tell her a story about Jesus. So I told her the story of Jesus bringing the dead girl back to life, thinking it would be a great story to show how much Jesus cares about little girls.
I ended with, "And then she got up and was walking around and Jesus told them to get her something to eat!"

"What was it?"

"What was what?"

"What she ate?"

"Some bread." Sounded good to me.

"Oh! I know a story about some bread!"

"Great! Tell it to me!"

"Once upon a time...they got some bread and dipped it in some juice. The end."

"That was a great story! Why did they dip it in the juice?"

"Well, they didn't have enough juice for everyone to have a drink, so that was the next best thing!" Sounded good to her!

By the way, I found this site called Awkward Family Photo and I submitted one of my all time favorite pictures there. This one:




And the comments were hilarious! My favorite one? At least she won't be laughing at her one-legged dad anymore! HAHAHA! I never even noticed there was only one of Steve's legs showing in the picture before. That is a truly hilarious site, and if you've got the time, spend some time going there and laughing your head off!

No Shame

Okay, so we've been at Annual Conference all week at our church. For those of you non-Methodists, that is an annual conference (yes, I know, shocking!) for pastors and lay people to get together and vote and take care of business and what not. Well, as a pastor's wife, I'm not required to be at anything, but the first day there were several things that I wanted or needed to be at. And that means that my kids were in childcare pretty much the whole day. It was almost 10 o'clock that night when I picked them up to take them home, and Steve was still up there going to one more thing.

So, Joey has been potty-trained very well for a few months now. He even tells you when he needs to go, which means true potty training to me, otherwise I am just the one trained to take him to the potty every few minutes! So, I sent him off for a whole day in child care without a bag or a change of clothes or anything. Because I like to be prepared that way. When I picked him up he was in someone else's clothes with a pull-up on. Whoops. Apparently he did tell them he needed to go, but not until it was too late, and as soon as his pants were down he proceeded to spray down the entire restroom much to the shock and dismay of the young college girl who was helping him.

So, as we head way out into the far reaches of the parking lot, he starts to dance around and tell me has to go potty. Now! Oh no! All the other kids were already in the car, buckled in. I could tell by the quickness of his dancing that we didn't have time to get everybody back in and to a potty before he let it go. I encouraged him to just use his pull-up, but he wouldn't hear of it. Dadgummit! There is something to be said for the convenience of diapers. So, I quickly glanced around the almost-empty parking lot, and did the only thing I could do. I told him he could go right there. He looked at me like I was crazy, and I probably am. He didn't want to do it, but I didn't see another option. I pulled down his pants and pointed him at the car. Maybe nobody would see us. He was still resisting - and pulling down his pants wasn't good enough - he kicked them off completely, and I finally convinced him to "water the tire." And that boy had to go. He went and went and he went until I was having to back us up to keep it from running on our feet. I guess the relief of releasing all that relaxed him because then he started giggling and couldn't stop, and told me that was fun! I kept glancing around the whole time, praying no one would come out, and God was merciful and nobody did.

So I just thought I'd use this time to confess that the pastor's wife not only condoned but encouraged and begged her child to pee in the church parking lot. Nothing good can come from this I know. I am just waiting for the time I pick him up from the nursery and they have to tell me that he dropped his pants and peed in the playground. As long as he keeps his mouth shut and doesn't say that his mom told him to do it. Because then I will be forced to lie and tell them I have no idea what he's talking about!

What I've been doing!

I love making clothes for little girls! These were made for Lily-Grace's preschool teacher's little girls as an end-of-the year present. I always wanted to have 2 little girls I could dress alike, and since that didn't happen, I'll have to make do with other people's kids. I tried to dress the boys alike, but when Levi was about 6, he would complain bitterly about "the match." So, I gave that up to. Lily-Grace still prays for her sister, so I guess there is always hope for a miracle, but I don't mean I want to have another baby. I mean like a child or baby being left on our doorstep. I'd take her. Especially if she was house-broken.

Anyway, I've got to get working on another project that's got to be done by Friday. Why do I always get stuff done for other people, but I still have all these things I want to make for my own family that somehow get pushed to the side? Oh well! I just loved how these turned out, and I wanted to share!

A Memorial Day to Forget!

So, we told the kids we would go see Night at the Museum 2 today to celebrate the "almost end" of school. We have never taken all 4 kids to the movies with us. There may be a reason for that. We have lived here almost a year, and I had never been to the movie theater here. Now I know why.

We decide to go to the earliest showing - 12:05. We could get popcorn, and that would be our lunch. No, I have absolutely no problem feeding my children popcorn and coke for lunch, why do you ask? So, we get there, and even with the child's tickets and matinee prices, it costs us $41 to get in. Then, I take the 3 younger kids and go find seats while Steve & Levi get the snacks. I told him to get 1 large bucket of popcorn because you get free refills, and I brought along some paper lunch bags in my purse. And even doing that, it cost us $35 at the snack bar. When they get there, I start to divide it up between the sacks, and I am immediately aware of how greasy it is. I really just expect it to be greasy on the top because I know that Levi wanted to put the God-awful butter-oil stuff on it, But somehow that child managed to get so much pseudo-butter crap that it was pooled in the bottom. The sacks were immediately soaked from the oil, but I passed them out anyway, and sent Steve to get a refill before the movie even started.

So, we are all set. Everyone has popcorn and a drink, and the movie starts right on time. The only bad thing about the bags was they were a little noisy, but I figured what with Joey kicking the seat in front of him the entire time, that little crinkly sacks would be the least of the poor people's worries who were sitting around us. Sam was the first one to have to go the bathroom. Steve took him. About 20 minutes later, Lily-Grace had to go. She and Joey had both taken off their shoes, and we couldn't find them in the dark, so we headed off to the bathroom barefoot. Eww! Somehow in the midst of the movie both Joey & Levi managed to drop their drinks on the floor. So, pretty much the whole aisle where we were sitting was a combination of greasy, sticky mess. There was fighting over who got to hold the actual "bucket" of popcorn, constant battles to keep Joey from kicking the seat in front of us, Joey moving back and forth between Steve & I, and Lily-Grace climbing in my lap and grabbing my hands to cover her eyes from the scary parts. I really can't tell you much about the movie. It was cute, I think, but not as good as the first one. But really, my opinion shouldn't count for much. At all.

When the lights come back on, we find everyone's shoes and try to get out of there as fast as we can before the poor workers see the mess we have made. Levi sees someone else's almost-full bucket of popcorn and grabs it and takes it with him on the way out! I couldn't even stomach the thought of more popcorn - I was starting to feel sick from all that pseudo-butter. Sam felt the same way I did because he asked Levi to please put it in the back so he didn't have to smell it.

On the way home we discussed how much nicer it was to just rent a movie and stay home. That was pretty much the worst $75 bucks I have ever spent. But it gets better. I left to run some errands, and came home a couple of hours later. When I came in the house, Lily-Grace was laying on the floor of the living room, moaning and crying. No one was paying her the least bit of attention. Steve said she was complaining of her stomach hurting. She wanted me to hold her, so I picked her up and sat down on the couch. We had been sitting for about 5 seconds when she started barfing all down my back. Nice. My main thought was for the couch. Thank God for leather! I jumped off the couch and Steve sprang into action and got the trash can to catch the rest of the barf. I have to say, that is the worst I have ever been covered in throw-up. I hope to God that remains the record. Both of us had to have showers after that.

Soon after that, Steve had diarrhea, and I was still feeling nauseous. Later, another child, who shall remain nameless, had diarrhea and couldn't make it to the toilet in time. Wonderful. Let me just say, whatever that pseudo-butter is, it is evil. Really, really evil. Let me also say, the next time we go to the movies (in about another year or so) there will be no snacks. That is why I am writing about it here, so we will never forget, as much as I would like to. I think I'll go to bed now!

Maybe not her thing?

So, Lily-Grace has been taking dance classes this year. There was a free "camp" last summer where prospective students could try it out and see if they liked it. She went and loved it! I asked repeatedly, "Did you like it? Do you want to go back? Do you want to keep doing this every week?" Every question was answered with an enthusiastic, "YES!" But, of course, I need to remember that she is 4, and all rules are subject to change at any time with no advance notice. It is her prerogative.

So, after signing her up and paying for the whole year in advance because I saved money that way, it took her about 1 month to decide she didn't really want to do this anymore. I'm thinking of all the money I already paid, and make her keep going. I'm thinking, wow, I paid over $500 for the privilege of cajoling, threatening and bribing my child to go have fun at dance class? I feel so happy and proud.

The thing is, this child loves to dance. She is constantly in a leotard and tutu and dancing for all she's worth. I think that is the problem - she already knows how to dance. She doesn't need anyone else telling her how to do it!

So this past weekend was the dance recital. She got all dressed up in her costume that she's been dying to wear ever since we got it back in January, but it has had to stay locked up in my closet out of her reach. And we had extra practices and extra bribes and threats. And finally the big day arrived, and we all excitedly went and waited through the whole eternity of dances, and she was finally the second to last dance.

They all prance out on stage looking so cute and small. And Lily-Grace promptly marches over to the little girl next to her, and I can tell by the way that she is pointing and putting her hands on her hips that she is telling this other little girl that she is in the wrong place or something. The other little girl finally shoos her away and Lily-Grace heads back to her place. I am just glad that I don't know the other little girl's parents. You might assume from the way that she was bossing the other girl around that she would know what she was doing. The music starts and Lily-Grace pretty much just stands there, occasionally doing her own moves and pretty much oblivious to the whole dance. Wow! That was money well spent! And during the finale, she came out and was dancing and having a good 'ol time, and I think I finally understood. For her, at this age, dancing is not about 1st and 2nd position and how to point your toes. It's about twirling and jumping and spinning around and enjoying the music. There wasn't one single twirl in her recital dance! How insulting! So, Lily-Grace had to put in her own twirls - every self-respecting dance should have a twirl, after all! And then we went and picked her up backstage and gave her flowers, I guess because we are celebrating that she is done!

So, she has worn her dance recital outfit non-stop for the past 4 days. She asks me repeatedly, "So, I am done with dance class? I don't have to go back?" Needless to say, we didn't sign up for next year! She has loved that costume though, and I'm wondering if it was worth all those classes for her to get that outfit? I think next year we may skip the classes and just get the outfit - we'll both be happier, and so will my wallet!

I get it.

Have you seen the story about the family who was court-ordered to have their son receive chemo? In case you haven't, this 13 year old kid has Hodgkins lymphoma with a 90% chance of survival with treatment, and a 5% chance without it. They did one round of chemo and then decided they would opt for natural remedies because of religious reasons.



Anyway, the mom & son are now on the run so they can avoid chemo. I have to say, when I first saw this, I was like, "You crazy people! Get your son to the hospital and save his life!" I got even more angry when I saw the guy who is the leader of their religious sect has been arrested for fraud with alternative medicines.



But then I saw a video where the dad was saying they were just scared and wanted to try and heal their son their way, and if it didn't work, then they could try chemo. And my heart just went out to them. I have been there. I have wanted to snatch my baby out of the hospital and leave and just go home and live like everything was fine. He looked fine, after all, and these crazy doctors probably had no idea what they were talking about. It was all a big mistake, and when I went home with my baby, and he was fine, that would show them!



Thankfully, that crazy passed and I never even voiced, much less acted on, those feelings. And we acted quickly and were blessed and never had to do chemo. Never had to see our child have poison dripped into his body that made him sick and lose his hair and threaten his little life, all in an effort to save his life. Never had to face the fear in the eyes of a 13 year old facing a life-threatening illness.



What would I have done if I was at a low point of watching my son suffer and someone I trusted and believed came to me and told me that he could heal my son without all this pain? I think most of us would want to believe such a thing.



But then I read at the doctor's appointment after the court hearing the child said the pain in his chest was a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10, probably from the tumor pushing against his port. And that breaks my heart. This poor child is right in the middle of a terrible circumstance made even more terrible by the fears of his parents and the misleading of a criminal (in my mind). So, please pray for this boy and his mother. That something will drive her to take him in to get chemo so he can survive and go on to live a long, full cancer-free life.

Bringin Back the Fun!

Can I just say I love Kevin Leman? I do. Love him. He has brought humor into disciplining my children, and for that I love the man. So, here is an update on the reality discipline at my house. The second morning, I go in to wake up the boys (which Dr. Leman would say they should just use an alarm clock, but I figure we've only got 4 days of school left, so we'll start that next year!) and when I wake them up, Levi gets right up, as usual, and Sam moves his arm. I see this as a promising sign.

I go back to finish getting ready since I am trying to get us all out of the house by 7:45 so the little kids and & I can then run to Walmart before I have to go to a meeting at church. By about 7:35, I have gotten the 2 little kids and myself ready, and Lily-Grace & Sam are in the boy's room, and Sam is still in bed, playing happily with his sister. He calls out to me, "Hey, Mom! I'm still in bed!" Like he's saying, "Hello! Shouldn't you be hurrying me up right about now?"
To which I reply, "Bummer, Sam! It looks like you're going to have to walk again!"
At which point he moans, "Nooo! Please don't leave me!" and kicks it into a gear the likes of which I've never seen him move in before.

We ended up leaving later than normal since Steve was at church already, and I was trying to get us all out the door, so he didn't get left. I have to say I was a little disappointed that he didn't hop right out of bed that morning, but I figured he is just a gambler, and was thinking yesterday was a fluke.

I am happy to report that the 3rd day (today) he got up immediately, got dressed and was ready to go by 7:35! And, even more impressive was that Levi wasn't going to school since he had a doctor's appointment that morning and was still in bed! Usually, this would be cause for whining and complaining about why he was going to school when Levi was not. I then said, "It must feel really good to be ready with time to spare and have time to play with Joey this morning!" He agreed and we gave each other knucks, and I silently congratulated myself for my fine use of encouragement vs. praise!

So, through all this, Levi hadn't been the recipient of the reality discipline and was having a darn fine time watching his brother and sister getting all the attention. But his time was coming, and this is where I have thoroughly enjoyed myself! Is that bad? To enjoy disciplining your children? But his reaction is just priceless, and I never have to get mad or raise my voice! It's awesome.
So, I won't go through the whole, long story, but the first time he got the discipline he didn't get a cookie because he was begging for it and bothering me. He didn't get a cookie. A cookie. You would have thought I sentenced him to solitary confinement and bread and water for 6 weeks so great was his reaction. At one point he was sitting at the kitchen table, fists clenched in anger, growling at me till he was red in the face, and I had to laugh. Seriously, though, don't you just love it when you punish your children and they care? When you know you've found something that matters to them? I never dreamed it would be a cookie, though they were darn good cookies.

Tonight, about 30 minutes before bedtime I asked them to please pause Spongebob and straighten up the living room. He immediately began complaining that he hadn't made the mess, and I was pointing out to him that he had made the mess (which I really shouldn't do - it's an act of cooperation to fight! I wasn't actually fighting, but still!) and I don't remember exactly what he had said, but I just didn't like his haughty tone. So I calmly told him that when he finished cleaning the living room that he could go on to bed. He was flabbergasted and in total disbelief. He went and took his shower, and when he came out, I hugged him, and told him I wasn't mad at him, but I didn't like his tone when he talked to me, and he could go to bed now, and I even told him he could read if he would like to. There was no reading. There was more growling and crying and negotiating. Was there anything he could do to get out? A spanking? Clean the whole house? Y'all, this was awesome! Asking for a spanking? Too good to be true! And all this without once raising my voice or becoming overly annoyed. I can't wait to see what they do tomorrow!