Friday, June 12, 2009

No Shame

Okay, so we've been at Annual Conference all week at our church. For those of you non-Methodists, that is an annual conference (yes, I know, shocking!) for pastors and lay people to get together and vote and take care of business and what not. Well, as a pastor's wife, I'm not required to be at anything, but the first day there were several things that I wanted or needed to be at. And that means that my kids were in childcare pretty much the whole day. It was almost 10 o'clock that night when I picked them up to take them home, and Steve was still up there going to one more thing.

So, Joey has been potty-trained very well for a few months now. He even tells you when he needs to go, which means true potty training to me, otherwise I am just the one trained to take him to the potty every few minutes! So, I sent him off for a whole day in child care without a bag or a change of clothes or anything. Because I like to be prepared that way. When I picked him up he was in someone else's clothes with a pull-up on. Whoops. Apparently he did tell them he needed to go, but not until it was too late, and as soon as his pants were down he proceeded to spray down the entire restroom much to the shock and dismay of the young college girl who was helping him.

So, as we head way out into the far reaches of the parking lot, he starts to dance around and tell me has to go potty. Now! Oh no! All the other kids were already in the car, buckled in. I could tell by the quickness of his dancing that we didn't have time to get everybody back in and to a potty before he let it go. I encouraged him to just use his pull-up, but he wouldn't hear of it. Dadgummit! There is something to be said for the convenience of diapers. So, I quickly glanced around the almost-empty parking lot, and did the only thing I could do. I told him he could go right there. He looked at me like I was crazy, and I probably am. He didn't want to do it, but I didn't see another option. I pulled down his pants and pointed him at the car. Maybe nobody would see us. He was still resisting - and pulling down his pants wasn't good enough - he kicked them off completely, and I finally convinced him to "water the tire." And that boy had to go. He went and went and he went until I was having to back us up to keep it from running on our feet. I guess the relief of releasing all that relaxed him because then he started giggling and couldn't stop, and told me that was fun! I kept glancing around the whole time, praying no one would come out, and God was merciful and nobody did.

So I just thought I'd use this time to confess that the pastor's wife not only condoned but encouraged and begged her child to pee in the church parking lot. Nothing good can come from this I know. I am just waiting for the time I pick him up from the nursery and they have to tell me that he dropped his pants and peed in the playground. As long as he keeps his mouth shut and doesn't say that his mom told him to do it. Because then I will be forced to lie and tell them I have no idea what he's talking about!