Monday, March 1, 2010

Bad to the Bone

Yep. That's me. Bad to the bone. And even more bad than me, is Steve. We are two totally cool, tough, and, I'd say, almost scary people. And now we have a ride to match that attitude. Here it is:

Yes, we are the proud new owners of a Bali Motor Scooter. I know, try not to be jealous. The sad thing is, our kids think this is totally cool - they don't realize it is really nothing more than a moped. I used to make fun of people riding those - I'm not sure why, just being honest here.

I'll have to take full responsibility for this purchase. Steve is most definitely not a motorcycle person, and he is really not even a motor scooter person. And, quite honestly, that makes me happy. But last night, we were sitting at our church's youth fundraiser, and they have a live auction. And we pretty much do not participate in this auction normally since we don't have hundreds of dollars to spend on steaks, even for a good cause. But, they put this scooter up there and started the bidding at $2000, and nobody bid. And then they lowered it to $1500 and nobody bid. And then they lowered it to $1400 and nobody bid. And I was feeling bad and somehow responsible, don't ask me why, it makes no sense whatsoever. And the auctioneer was saying how great these things are, and what a steal this was, and I leaned over and whispered to Steve, "Oh, just bid on it! If we start, someone else will surely bid. Or, at the very least, we can sell it!" And so he bid, and lo and behold, no one else uttered a word.

And so we are now badass motor scooter owners, except I'm not really sure a motor scooter can be badass. But, more in keeping with our personalities, it gets great gas mileage! And we were instant heroes with our boys, who stared at us in awe and asked if we really did just buy that scooter and were we really going to take it home, and could they ride on it. And we answered yes to all those questions, except it is currently still at the church since we don't know how to drive it, and Steve said you have to have a special license to drive a motorcycle, and he is nothing if not a rule follower. And so there it sits in one of the Sunday School rooms, and I'm guessing we are going to have to get it out of there by Sunday!

So as we are driving home that night, I decided to look through all the paperwork we got with it, you know, to see if there were any instructions on how to ride it because we really are that nerdy. And it was very helpful. I saw a section entitled "Way of Starting for Engine" and thought that would be a good place to start. Here's what it said:

1. Stand the main stand when starting engine, and make the rear wheel nearly room.
2. Adopt the electric/kick starting. If adopt electric starting, must catch hold of front brake or step rear brake pedal.
3. When driving in winter, turn the key of bank to "OFF" kick starting about 5 times and make into gasoline, then touche' with the electric road, with accelerating and warm up the engine about
2-3 minutes. All are OK.

Okay, no problem. I got it. Since I obviously had a handle on starting the engine after that stellar explanation, I decided to peruse the rest of the manual. Here are some other things I found especially helpful:

- Ride the motorcycle from left side and seat well, the left foot touch with room and avoid to rave. I'm so glad they warned me to avoid the rave. That would be so embarrassing if I didn't!

- Don't add freely gasoline to the turning bar after loosing the rod of rear braking, avoid to happen dangerous. Where can I find freely gasoline? I promise not to add it to the turning bar, I'll keep it strictly for the gas tank!

- Start to parking slowly, and then step and draw urgently the vehicle. Good to know. I'll make sure there is a sketch pad in the scooter at all times.

And last but not least,

- When parking, support the main stand in the little traffic and smooth land, if else happen to accident easily. I have no idea who wrote this, but I'd love to have a conversation with them! I have a feeling it would be memorable.

So as you can see from this highly informative and comprehensive owner's manual we are now completely prepared and all set to embark on our new adventure of owning and enjoying a motor scooter. As long as it stays in the Sunday School room at the church.


  1. Oh my goodness, that is sooo funny. "Touche' with the electric road"! I am laughing, laughing. In the computer room, though, not so much in the wind.
    That is a great story, too.

  2. Hysterical!!!! Guess you can park it in the garage and save it for the know, Levi will be driving in about 6 years (of course by then he might not be thinking a motor scooter is so cool). Or, in the meantime, enjoy all the gas money you can save. If I'm in Midland and I see a man on a motor scooter using all the hand turn signals, I'll know it's "rule-following" Steve. Ha!

  3. As I recall, this is almost exactly how we ended up with a hot tub in our backyard in DC (except I wasn't there to whisper in David's ear lol) At least you won't need a crane to deliver it to your house or 10 men from the men's home to it move across your backyard, and hopefully you won't spend 3 days with a chainsaw cutting it into small enough pieces to haul it to the dump after 4 years of questionable service :) On the plus side, you live in a town that is actually big enough to have a decent craigslist following....just don't let David know if you list it lol

  4. That's scarey! Who the heck wrote that manuel?! Or edited it, for that matter?! I hope it wasn't the actually assemblyier (sp?). At least I admit to my grammatical errors! I guess, you just have to faithfully jump on it and go! Kick the manuel to the curb!

  5. That is so funny!! Good luck!

  6. Jamey bought a true moped one time, and he looked as cool as Judge Scott did on his~yikes...No wonder people have "accidents" on 2 wheeled transportation...they can't understand the instructions. Oh, and also~I can SO see Sam as a motorcycle rider (I am sure there is a cooler name)!