Saturday, January 29, 2011

Motherhood Changes Everything

There's something about becoming a mother that changes everything about you. Things that you never gave a second thought about are now things that must be pondered carefully and fully. Case in point: when 3 out of my 4 kids were all in car seats, I suddenly became consumed with what I would do if I somehow drove into a large body of water. How would I save them all? Could I get them all out of their car seats and out of the car rapidly filling with water when only one of them could even remotely swim? I had a plan that included holding a little one in each arm, a 3rd one hanging onto my back, encouraging the oldest one that he could swim and somehow, without the use of my arms, kick my legs furiously to get us all safely to shore. Never mind that I live in west Texas where large bodies of water are about as common as snow drifts. That didn't seem to matter to my mom mind - it was a possible emergency that needed my full and undivided attention, and above all, a plan. I wonder, do thoughts like these consume dads?

I don't know, but I do know I am not alone in this. I was talking to some girl friends the other day, and one of them talked about how she lived in a trailer park in college that wasn't in the safest of places, and she would think about how she could escape if an intruder ever got in. She never even considered the possibility of a confrontation - just get away. That all changed when she became a mom. She would never even dream of escaping if her babies were still in the house.

Then another friend, Rebecca, told a story that still has me chuckling. They live in a small town that is completely safe. They rarely even lock their doors. Until recently, when there was a rash of break-ins in their small town. The criminals broke into 5 of the churches in town, one of which was the church her husband was the pastor of, and it was right across the street from their house. The low-lifes even broke into some houses. So, that pretty much shattered their small-town peace and serenity. So, one night she told her husband that she thought she would just sleep on the couch.
"Why?" her husband asked.
"Well, I just think I would hear someone quicker if they were coming in our window."
"You don't think you would hear them just as quick in our bedroom?"
"Well, if I was right here, I could just jump up and start beating them with my bat."
"But, don't have a bat!"
"Well, why not!?! You leave me here alone all the time! I need a bat!"
And that just pretty much sums it up. When you're a mom, and there are crazy criminals on the loose, threatening the safety of your babies, the thought of sleeping on the couch with your bat seems like a perfectly natural and sane thing to do.
Fortunately, for the safety of the criminals, they are in custody. Because if they ever picked the wrong house, and came in contact with Rebecca, bat or no bat, I'm not sure they would live to tell the story! After all, she's a mom.


  1. OMG this is hilarious! You know, the other day I was flipping through channels and passed by some kind of zombie movie or show and although I only saw about 30 seconds of it I was consumed by thoughts of how we could survive if attacked by zombies. Zombies! Would it be safer here or my parents house. Do we have emergency food and drinks for the baby. Could we lock ourselves in the bathroom where there aren't any windows? What could I use to cover the windows. What would I do to keep the Peanut quiet and hidden?

    Did I mention we're talking about zombies? I'm a nutcase.

  2. Creighton left yesterday and will be out of town for a week. Last night, I let all three kids sleep with me. I locked every door and even my bedroom door. I parked my car outside my second story window. I made sure that my window was unlocked. I laid my keys and my phone on the bedside table. Told the children, "In case of an emergency, we can jump out the window onto the hood of the expedition." That sparked all kinds of conversations!